when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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