Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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