So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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