You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
