where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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