Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
