I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
We need to get me chipped asap
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
