I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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