i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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