i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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