I like to think it a success when the cops are called
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
