I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I think a kid would responsible me up
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
