Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
