I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize