If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize