Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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