Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
