it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
