We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
