who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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