I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
