I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Randomize