Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
