oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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