Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
