I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
