I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
