I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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