I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
