You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
