Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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