Screwed.edu
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize