i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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