If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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