I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
The uberlube is also flammable
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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