OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
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