This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
