On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
