Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
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