so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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