i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
