The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
