just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
