conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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