its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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