You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
