i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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