Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
