the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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