i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
We left the knife in your bed.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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