you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
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