Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
