You're so nebulous sometimes
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
