Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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