People in love make me want to vomit
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
