all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
