The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
