just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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