You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You ruined the universe
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
